Getting ready for another holiday season.

Today I went to Burlington to go food shopping for upcoming family gatherings.  I also went into J.Crew to pick up a hair clip, intending to leave quickly to get the rest of the errands done.  While in the store I became overwhelmed with grief.  I was surrounded by lovely clothes that my lovely daughter would, in her true self, be so fun to shop with.  She is such a joy, filled with enthusiasm and loves to clothes shop.  I felt that I would just cry in that grief, missing so terribly my shopping buddy.  She has exquisite taste in clothes and knows what one looks best in.  Occasionally my true Leah shows herself, and I look so forward to when she is with me again, in the state of mind she is meant to be all of the time.  If that nice clerk had said one more kind or helpful thing to me today I may have lost it,  and she may have seen what was just under the surface- a grieving mother.  I also had another thought today about this experience.  I know that people with family members with dementia suffer such grief from the loss of the true essence of their loved one.  I realize that this is an extreme comparison but what I am saying is that I am grateful knowing that it is possible and likely that I will have my daughters back to being who they truly are.  I have compassion now more than ever for what the families with a dementia patient  have lost forever.

I got a text from daughter #1 today and she went to two Dr. appointments today.  I hope that finally she will be steered in the right direction and someone will come into her life to cause her to want real change.

My best to you today, Bonnie