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In the beginning of 2011, I was hopeful that the year would bring lots of positive changes. Often the worse things go the less I write, so I did not contribute earlier this year. If there are people following this blog, I let you down and I am sorry. Now, at the end of this year, there have been big changes and in the most positive directions in three years. My dear Leah is ready at last to get on with living her life. She has let go of much of the shame and regret she has been holding onto since she first developed the eating disorder. It was a huge year of deep work and at last it's paying off for her. I feel that though she will still likely have occasional set backs, she will keep moving forward. The changes for her have taken place in baby steps in some cases as she has begun trusting in herself once again.
Since September I have been studying a Life Coaching program. I decided to do this course of work as a way to heal myself from the pain of the past and to make some sense of all that has occurred in our family. I believe that I can do this by helping other people learn to better cope with events like this and to live better lives in spite of difficult circumstances. What has been interesting is that since I began taking this class my daughter has become obviously better. One big reason for me starting the class was to help my brain focus on something other than the constant worry I had become accustom to. This focus on fear was not helping anyone, and in retrospect I believe that on the energy level my way of dealing was probably giving Leah signals that she was not and could not do well. Almost immediately upon me taking my life in a different direction I noticed the shift in Leah as well. Hummmmmm.
I cannot begin to tell you how much I am learning. All of the ideas make complete sense to me and though it is seemingly obvious how we "should" live our lives, it is far easier to cave into the fear and do brain circles instead of shifting our thoughts and so our moods and actions. So, I am very ready to share. If you are reading this and would like to have a free half hour of coaching by me to try it out I would love to practice what I am learning. It could help both of us! Please contact my email:
bonnieo1958@aol.com And for now, "May you be well, may you be happy, may you be free of suffering." (from an old Tibetan meditation prayer) : ) Bonnie
